Staying in Florida for the foreseeable future...

Initially, I wanted to move to Florida. Being close to family that I was never around, excellent opportunities for flight training, I mean, how bad could it get?

I was never fond of the weather, but it was a great place to visit.

My family moved to Florida the day after my graduation from high school, making me the only one in my generation of the Newball family to have had all his schooling in the Los Angeles Unified School District (which in spite of its shortfalls, is considerably superior to what Florida could ever offer). Regardless, I saw moving to Florida as a new horizon to cross. It was a transitional period anyway. High school to the unknown world (at the time), childhood to manhood, and from land-based person to pilot.

Once here, however, things didn't go as planned.

Part of our welcoming committee were two strong hurricanes that damaged the house my family had just bought. Companies that did repairs on the house did a cut-and-run job. They did a job halfway (quality-wise), charged an arm and a leg, and when trying to settle a charge, they were nowhere to be found. The company "folded", and the business owners disappeared from the face of the planet. 'Stick it to the customer' mentality, what I like to call the 'Florida' mentality.

I was listening a few years ago to a talk show host from the West Palm Beach area, who is originally from Northern California, and was shocked at how people manage to live in this state, with its low pay, and lower quality of life than what the West Coast offers. He later added that he enjoys living here.

I failed to see his logic.

I come from a city that never sleeps. I can literally, jump in the car, and find something to do, or get a midnight bite, or whatever comes to mind. In Florida, everything dies just after sunset. Nothing to do. My co-workers tell me about locations in downtown West Palm Beach, and I drive by them, with hardly any life. Is this what people call "fun"?

The transition has been so hard, one of my sisters became lactose intolerant (brought on by post-traumatic stress from the hurricanes), and I have become considerably more aggressive and, dare I say, paranoid (the former requires me to hold myself back at work). Something I never felt in California. And, my entire family agrees that it was the worst mistake we ever made.

Yes, it is something I now regret deeply and painfully.

We tried selling the house, but with the housing bubble bursting right as we were planning to move back, we were tied down to Florida. Stuck in the armpit of the universe.

But you take the bad with the good. I started attending Embry-Riddle, and I am working for an airline. I am doing what I can to wrap myself in that while I stay here. But once I get a better paying job, I am moving back to California. All my friends that have left LA regret that decision. And I agree with them. Los Angeles is home.

I'm a proud 'Angeleno'. I will do what I can to get back. Come hell of high water, I'm going back one way or another. My heart is still there, and I can't live without it.

Now to listen to some music that tugs at my heartstrings with California on my mind...
Jacob Wheeler - Magic (original, and instrumental)
Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass - Route 101
Randy Newman - I Love LA
George Strait - Marina Del Rey
Hall and Oates - Man on a Mission
Bob Marley and the Wailers - Satisfy My Soul
Hall and Oates - Life's Too Short

Performance In Class, Desires of Flight, and a Longing to Return Home...

Today was a rare day in South Florida. I actually had to wear my black CWU-45/P flight jacket to work. I did feel different today. However, one thing that I noted this morning when I got out of the house was that I said, "Wow, this is a beautiful day to fly!" Cool and crisp, not a cloud in the sky, just beautiful...simply beautiful. How I wish I had my license.

As you can see in my profile, I work as a customer service agent for a major airline.

Today in class, we were going over airport and runway markings and signage, as well as airspace, and air traffic control. And, we were tested on it. I got an 87% score on the test. It's good, I know. But it should be much better, and I'm beating myself up for it. For years, I was certain that I would be a class "ace". For years, I was certain that I would be able to get a near perfect score with my eyes closed.

We'll, I didn't like what I saw. And I saw myself slipping "behind the power curve". I should be ahead. Not in a competitive manner with anyone else in the class, but against my own self.


"You have to live with that reputation. But it's like you're flying against a ghost."
"Goose" from "TOP GUN"


In a way, I am up against a ghost. The ghost of my projected self. I want to be the most proficient pilot I can possibly be. And with this type of score, I can't possibly do it. I have to be doing a heck of a lot better. But, I may just be putting undue pressure upon myself. Stress from work, from living in this place, from my financial position, and the angst that has built up from four years of not flying. There have been some days where I wonder...I stop and wonder why I am putting myself through all of this. Why am I so bent on becoming a pilot, when I can easily be doing something else? I have better proficiency in graphic design, and audio editing as a hobby. I don't know.

I just need to look back to my first time at the airport.




That was my first introduction to aviation. Though I did not go flying that day, it did affect my life. It has made me fall short of dedicating my life to it (flying comes second to God). Why can't I fulfill my dream? Maybe I'm jumping the gun.

Maybe that's all it is: a dream that I'll wake up from.

I don't know. But one thing is for certain. I'll do the best I can. I may never know why I chose this path, or perhaps why it chose me. But I will follow it.

And, I am continuing to wait for my return to LA. Although I can't possibly be financially able to return any time soon, I will still try to fly back and forth via my airline. When I do go back (as I have done a few times since starting with my airline), it's like reviving from a dream. I get back into reality, into a tangible place.

Near the inlet at Marina Del Rey
Marina Del Rey, California
January 2008

Overlooking Los Angeles International Airport
El Segundo, California
January 2008

I never thought that I would live away from Florida. And it happened so fast, the day after I graduated from Westchester High School. But it is something I'd rather not write about...at least at this moment. I don't want to relive the worst decision of my life. I want to go home. I'm ready to go home.